


Paperwork Day

by emmablowguns



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Bickering, Comedy, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Just Friends, No Romance, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:20:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3946930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmablowguns/pseuds/emmablowguns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's paperwork day the bureau, and no one could be more upset about it than Mulder.</p><p>A silly fic where Scully forces Mulder to do his job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paperwork Day

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, this is 100% silly. Just a short little thing I wrote to pass the time.  
> It was inspired by a conversation me and my dad had about what we called "y files" wherein scully and mulder rent cars, check into motels, board flights, and fill out paperwork.

Mulder woke up to someone rapping at his door.

Looking at the clock, he realized it was 6:30, nearly an hour before he actually had to be at work. He was prepared to duck back under the covers and act like he wasn't home, until he heard a familiar voice.

"Mulder! Wake up!" It was Scully. That could only mean one thing: paperwork day.

Contrary to popular belief, FBI agents weren't always gallivanting around the country righting wrongs and arresting bad guys. They had off days, and for the X Files, they had plenty of off days, but for Mulder this day had to be one of the worst. That was why Scully was waking him up like this, to make he sure he actually went to work. Before she was around, Mulder was constantly getting chewed out over paperwork he thought was useless.

"Mulder? Are you there?" Scully yelled, probably waking the whole apartment complex with her shouting.

"No one's home, Scully." He teased groggily, burying his head in the pillows.

Big mistake, apparently, because now Scully knew he was awake inside his apartment and wasn't afraid to use her key. Mulder heard the lock clicking and briefly thought about blocking the door, but he was too tired for that and knew the inevitable was coming. Scully let herself in, finding Mulder pretending to be fast asleep in bed.

"I know you're awake, Mulder."

"You can't prove that."

"Oh? So was it your clone talking?" She quipped, putting her hands on her hips defiantly.

"Stranger things have happened, Scully." He rolled over to face her, delighting in the frustration he could cause her. "Or have you forgotten?"

"Believe me, I remember. Now get up! I know you always try to skip work today, and I'm tired of doing all your work for you, Mulder."

He groaned, sitting up in bed but refusing to leave the warmth of his blankets.

"Why don't you just play hooky with me, Scully? Don't you ever just want to get away?" But he knew his case was lost when Scully started throwing pieces of his wardrobe at him wordlessly.

"That paperwork will still be waiting for us if we put it off, now get dressed."

"Aren't you gonna help me?" He grinned even wider when Scully rolled her eyes.

"I'll be in the other room. Be ready to go in ten minutes."

"Yes, mother." He called after her, sighing as soon as she was out of earshot.

With no hope for playing hooky, Mulder resigned himself to actually getting dressed.

 --

Once at the office, Scully tried unsuccessfully to cheer up a sulking Mulder with a cup of coffee.

"I can't be bribed, Scully. And I'm still mad at you." He said, nonetheless taking a sip.

Scully rolled her eyes and handed him the small stack paperwork he was trying hard not to think about.

"You have only yourself to blame here, Mulder." She said when he balked at the size of the stack.

"All right, all right." He grumbled, accepting the paperwork and beginning to comb through it.

Scully, who had already begun working, seemed satisfied by the effort Mulder appeared to be making.

Being a scientist, Scully had a deep appreciation for order and logic. So naturally, paperwork day was never a big deal for her. Wherever they went, she always asked for an extra copy of the receipt and kept it in a little book she had with her at all times. Whenever she filed it away under the various categories, Mulder would grumble and crumple the receipt into the glove box.

Now, all he could do was watch as Scully effortlessly filled out sheet after sheet like it was nothing.

It wasn't like Mulder was surprised. Their relationship was built on their differences; it made sense Scully would be his total opposite in this department as well. And yet Mulder couldn't help feeling a bit disgruntled at how easy she made it all seem.

Looking down at his still blank forms, he began the only thing he could do: the signatures. Every form required a date and signature, and even though Mulder had no idea how much he had spent that month, he knew one thing, and that was his name and today's date!

Scully glanced at him curiously, confused as to how he was suddenly working so fast.

"You're not the only one who can do this Scully." Mulder said, returning the look with a smile.

But his arrogance was obviously misplaced, and Scully quickly caught on to what he was up to. She sighed, facing towards Mulder.

"Have you even started anything else aside from signing the papers?"

"I have!" He snapped, getting defensive. "I'll have you know, I wrote today's date on all these forms."

Walking over to the desk, Scully picked up one of the sheets and examined it.

"You got the date wrong." She stifled the urge to smile. Despite the situation, she didn't think it would be very helpful to laugh in the man’s face.

"Come on Scully, just let me see your receipts. You're my partner, our expense reports always look similar anyway!" He was aware just how pathetic he sounded, but it was paperwork day! He was in a bad place, Scully knew this.

"No, Mulder. If I do this for you, you'll never learn. You have to get into the habit of saving this stuff."

"Scully, please? I'm in a dark place."

She scoffed and shook her head. "Because of paperwork?"

"Yes!" But he couldn't deny they were both smiling a little. Before he knew it they were both chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

Thinking he was in the clear, he began to ask for the receipts when Scully cut him off.

"You're still not getting my receipts, Mulder. I'm handing these in right now."

Suddenly, time seemed to slow down, at least for Mulder. Before him, he saw two options: let Scully hand in the paperwork, forever dooming himself to live a miserable life filled with endless expense reports, or he could take the stapler and prevent Scully from handing them in. It made no sense, but when had childish, impulsive decisions ever steered him wrong?

Mulder grabbed the stapler, his heart fluttering only a little when Scully's hand covered his. If this had a chance of working he'd have to be focused.

"Mulder, give me the stapler."

"Give me your receipts, Scully."

She rolled her eyes at him, finding this debacle pointless as well as extremely childish. After a brief silence, she decided to go for it, yanking the stapler from Mulder's grasp.

"This is stupid." She said as she stapled the receipts to the form.

"Please Scully, what else am I supposed to do? You know I don't save my receipts. Skinner's gonna kill me!"

"That's your own fault! There's more to being an FBI agent that catching bad guys, you know."

But he could tell Scully's resolve was weakening, falling into the same old tug of war routine they got into every month.

"Please? I'll start saving the receipts right away on our next assignment. I promise."

"You say that every time! This is childish." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. The action was a relic of her cancer days, a habit that she had never really shaken off, in part due to Mulder's antics.

He tried a softer approach.

"Come on, Scully. Please? You can actually show me how to do it this time. I won't just copy your work."

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

"Mulder you always seem to get your way." Scully said it softly, just barely loud enough to be heard.

"So you'll help me?" Mulder asked, eyes lighting up like an excited puppy.

"Yes, I will. Besides, you're too stubborn to refuse."

He grinned sheepishly and sat down at his desk, readying himself for the task at hand.

"Alright, Scully. Show me how this works."

While Scully scoffed and rolled her eyes, Mulder swore he could see a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Though it was never added into this fic, that conversation with my dad ended up with him saying "Mulder, you can't staple a napkin to your expense report and write "Fresh dollaz" on it."
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
